


Écoutez-Moi (Listen to Me)

by LadyoftheMasque



Series: Read My Lips [2]
Category: Detroit: Become Human (Video Game)
Genre: Asexual Character, Asexual Gavin Reed, Asexual Relationship, Asexuality, Emotional Hurt/Comfort, Lovesick Nines, M/M, Nines dotes on Gavin, Nines is in love it hurts, Nines is obsessed, PWP without Porn, Persistent RK900, Romance, Romantic Fluff, Self-Acceptance
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2019-05-24
Updated: 2019-05-24
Packaged: 2020-03-13 09:05:01
Rating: Not Rated
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings, No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 6,464
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/18937786
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/LadyoftheMasque/pseuds/LadyoftheMasque
Summary: “Listen to me, Gavin,” Nines stated almost breathlessly as his eyes welled up with emotions Gavin hadn’t ever seen him display before. “I want you to understand that I do accept you as you are, Gavin, and I don’t think you need ‘fixing’, because to me, you’re not broken, and never were.”Gavin and Nines are out on their first date, but Gavin still finds he has some trouble accepting the nature of their new relationship.





	Écoutez-Moi (Listen to Me)

Gavin didn’t mind being seen in public with Nines, now. They hadn’t exactly decided on a ‘relationship’ moving forward, not without a proper first ‘date’ of some sorts.

Dating…that word alone did something strange to Gavin, and while he didn’t associate any negativity around it when it came to Nines, he still wasn’t too comfortable with the idea of ‘dating’ Nines. What did it mean to date? To hold hands? To touch? To kiss? To be intimate in other ways? Gavin had no real idea, and until he did, he wasn’t too thrilled about their upcoming dinner date and activities Nines had planned as a surprise for Gavin.

Still, the detective got ready in his apartment, trying on a few outfits until he settled for a black polo shirt and dark blue tight jeans. He showed his outfit off to his tabby, and she nuzzled his legs, clearly approving of his choice. Gavin rubbed her head softly, pressing the tip of his nose on top of her wet one, and she licked his nose in response. It was a rough sensation, and he had to laugh as he wiped his nose off and pushed the collar of his shirt down and made sure it was tidy.

He checked himself out in the mirror one more time when he heard a knock upon his door, and he paused for a moment as he just froze. That knock meant something; it meant that Nines had arrived to pick up his ‘date’…and that was Gavin. He shivered, even though it was very warm that afternoon, and his cat nuzzled his arms and pawed at him. She always knew how to comfort him, and he smiled down at her, feeling a lot better already.

Reminding himself everything was going to be okay, Gavin walked towards the front door of his apartment, and he opened it for Nines. The android was dressed casually, but he looked wonderful and proper. He was wearing a black long-sleeve turtleneck sweater and black jeans over dark loafers.

Unfortunately, Gavin was unable to voice his thoughts, and he merely smiled as he fumbled with the door handle awkwardly. He just offered Nines a shy half-smile. “Hey there…”

Nines returned the smile fully, holding his hands behind his back. “You look wonderful, Gavin.”

Gavin looked away for a moment, and then stared at the way Nines was holding his hands behind his back. Desperately trying to break away from the topic of appearances and sensuality upon appearance, Gavin nodded over at him. “What do you have there?” he asked with a little bit of playfulness in his tone.

Nines’ eyebrows rose high on his forehead. He took a step forward, though he didn’t enter the apartment; not without Gavin’s permission. He grinned lightly, “Who? Me?” he snickered, “why, it’s nothing, Gavin…” he slowly brought his hands forward, and Gavin gasped in surprise when he saw Nines holding two tickets in his hands.

“What’re those, Nines?” Gavin gently inquired, eyes shining excitedly for a moment.

Nines smiled, as if prouder than ever. “Just two tickets to a live performance of Anastasia by the National Ballet and Opera; nothing much,” he smirked smugly, and Gavin laughed as he clasped his hands together and just beamed at Nines. Even in moments of sheer joy and happiness, he found himself incapable of reaching out and simply hugging Nines. He hated himself for being so weak, but Gavin decided he wasn’t going to let his night be ruined before it’d even begun. He had instructed himself to keep positive; to enjoy, to laugh, to hope, and to just take each day at a time, and he was going to practice these instead of ruminating about them all day long. Even his therapist would have to agree that this was the healthiest thing he could do for himself, so he decided to ‘go with it’, as people used to say, and he smiled as he grabbed his wallet and keys off the table in his hallway.

“I’m ready, Nines,” he announced happily, and the android nodded gleefully in return.

Holding out his hand and stretching it out into the hall, Nines stepped back. “Shall we?”

Gavin stepped out into the hall with him, locking his door behind him. As he pocketed his key, he saw Nines’ fingers twitching, and he noticed that the android had wanted to reach out and take his hand in his own…this made Gavin seize up a little, but he quickly recovered from it as he laughed it off and chose to talk about something else.

“So, did you see my cat?” it was a silly thing to bring up, but it was all he had whenever he was feeling a tad nervous, and he hoped Nines would possess the foresight to understand his intentions by bringing it up in the first place.

It appeared the RK900 had, and he merely nodded as he placed his hands in his pockets and walked beside Gavin towards the stairwell of his apartment building. Nines held open the door for him, “I most certainly did see her,” he chimed happily, “is she trouble?”

“Ha!” Gavin laughed shortly, “nothing but!!” he felt his mood uplifted as Nines walked down to the parking lot with him, and they approached his vehicle, which was a white Toyota Hybrid car and SUV.

Nines unlocked the doors, and he walked swiftly before Gavin, already opening the passenger door for him. This perturbed Gavin a little bit. The last time he checked, he wasn’t a charity case, and he wasn’t in dire need of this kind of attention lavished unto him. Still, he chose not to comment on it, as the afternoon was still young. His hunger outweighed his anger, and he sat down patiently as he waited for Nines to start up the vehicle.

Once Nines was seated, he grinned over at Gavin. “What type of food do you like the most, Gavin?”

Rolling his eyes, Gavin snickered. “I’m a foodie, Nines!” he exclaimed passionately as they drove away from the apartment, “I like all kinds of food!”

Nines hummed. “I have an idea,” he stated softly, “why don’t you close your eyes for a moment…”

Gavin scoffed, “Nines, I—”

“Just trust me on this one, Gavin…please, close your eyes,” he urged so sweetly and softly this time, that Gavin automatically found his eyelids weighing down heavily, and he sighed as he closed his eyes and did what Nines told him to do. Beneath his feet, he could feel the car moving along the streets, the engine humming like an airplane as Gavin relaxed into his seat.

“Now,” Nines began gently, “I want you to just _feel_ ; don’t think! Just feel. Feel whatever your most delicious, delectable meal tastes like. Don’t imagine anything; no colors, no shapes, no designs, just feel it. Can you smell it before you? Does it smell of spices of an exotic variety? Perhaps…Oriental? Does it smell as sweet as honey? Or could it be roasted, plainly? Is it smoky, or is it boiled in warm water that makes you feel the steam before your face as you watch it cooking?”

Gavin’s eyes opened. He had it. He knew what he wanted.

Turning to smile at Nines appreciatively, he said, “Seafood. I want seafood.”

Nines slowly smiled at him. “I know just the place, Gavin…”

 

(~~~~~)

 

Gavin smiled down at his smoked salmon covered in honey, with a fresh zesty spray of lime juice as parsley sat on the side of his plate. He’d ordered a side-dish of steamed asparagus and beans, and Nines sat before him in a tiny booth at the back of the restaurant. Nines knew Gavin was fond of privacy, and he’d made sure to ask the waiter for the most segregated place, so that Gavin would be absolutely comfortable.

Gavin was indeed comfortable, and as he munched on the asparagus, he threw Nines a complacent smile. He wiped his lips with his napkin as he stared around the busy restaurant. “You really picked a good place, Nines!” he stated truthfully, cheeks a little red as he stared over at Nines again. Eye contact was still too much sometimes, so he chose to stare down into his plate. The moment he did, he felt relief and tranquility washing over him. This was much better.

Sticking to this as a ‘comfort’ and ‘security’ zone for himself, Gavin continued on. “I am really grateful to you for this, Nines, but…” he chewed on his tongue, as if scolding himself for daring to even bring it up. Why had he been about to say it? How could he even think to do it when Nines had been nothing but kind and sweet to him??

He shook his head. “Forget it, Nines, I’m sorry.”

The android didn’t want to let it go, however. Leaning forward a little, he placed his hands on the table, though he was careful not to get too close to Gavin’s space. “What’s the matter, Gavin?” he asked soothingly, “have I offended you in some way?”

Gavin rolled his eyes as he sat back and grabbed his fork, pushing around some bits of broccoli and beans. “Nines, please,” he sighed, “just let it go.”

“I need to know whether I am saying or doing something that is making you uncomfortable, Gavin,” Nines stated logically, “otherwise, how will I know how to please you?”

Heat pooled in his cheeks, and Gavin coughed uncomfortably into a clenched fist. Lowering his voice, he glared down at his food, as if it had somehow offended him. “Nines, think about it for two seconds here,” he snapped, “you’re spending all this time and money on me, and you know you can’t get anything out of this from me.” He glared up for a moment, and their eyes met.

Nines’ LED light beamed blue, and he only smiled warmly. He was always smiling at something, and it made Gavin tense up as he stared back down at his plate.

“Gavin,” Nines began lowly, “if I’m spending my time and energy on you, it’s not because I _need_ something from you; I’m just doing it because I willingly choose to, and I want to do it for you.”

While that explained some of it, a part of Gavin’s brain refused to accept it as a viable answer. It was the part of him that housed a lack of self-confidence, and while it wasn’t a place he often visited, he knew he often left himself open to self-depreciation more than he should have. His therapist had told him that half his problems stemmed from incapability to accept himself, but Gavin didn’t know how on earth he was supposed to accept a single part of himself when 99% of the world’s population would look down upon him and tell him that there was something terribly wrong with him because of the way he’d been created. Funny how society often claimed that it accepted people just the way they were, when it was the complete opposite.

He felt his mood growing sour, and he scowled at the center of the table as he crossed his arms over his chest. Biting down on the insides of his cheeks for a moment, he scratched his forearms as he sniffed sharply. He knew Nines was staring at him, and likely trying to be patient with him, but it wasn’t helping suddenly.

Gavin glared up around the restaurant, his eyes just swimming over the diners and customers. He saw a few attractive women, and he gestured over to them with the nod of a head. “What about them, Nines?” he inquired curtly, “wouldn’t you rather spend your time and attention on them when they would probably swoon and drool all over you?”

Nines held his stare, though his smile had decreased a little. “No, Gavin.”

Gavin wasn’t buying it. His arms tightened over his chest as he looked around the restaurant some more. “Are you sure? I bet half of these women could even keep up a better conversation than me, you know,” he smiled coldly, “or perhaps you prefer the men, Nines?”

The RK900 stared evenly at him. “I don’t prefer men or women, Gavin; I just want to be with you…is that so bad?”

Bad?

Bad??? Was Nines asking this again??

Pushing his plate towards the center of the table, Gavin rested a hand on his thigh. He felt angry, regretful, anxious, and he was diving down into dark places he knew he shouldn’t have been visiting. Logically, nothing had gone wrong with the date. Nines had been a gentleman; a real classy individual who’d treated him properly, and yet he was so angry. But it wasn’t Nines he was angry with; it was himself.

He once again hated that he was a broken mess of nothing inside, and he would never be able to relate to Nines in the way he more than likely wanted Gavin to relate to him in. Why was he such a constant failure? While he was grateful his parents loved and accepted him just the way he was, he knew that the world was a cold and unforgiving place, and it had no place for people like him in it. A man of his own age should’ve been married with at least two or three kids by now, and he was mortified that he hadn’t even shared a few kisses yet. His life experiences paled in comparison to what the other men he even worked with in the DPD would often boast about whenever they all went out on Friday or Saturday nights for drinks, and Gavin had to always be left out as he nodded and forced a smile onto his face as they all spoke of the ‘fun’ nights they’d had with their lovers and partners….

That would just never be him, and while he was fine with it, he just couldn’t drag someone else into his world who wasn’t created the same way he was. That would be torture he didn’t want to inflict on anyone, and he wasn’t going to allow even a second more of it to go on. Nines was just being humble and polite; he didn’t need to really be tied down to someone as messed up as he was, and he felt so angry that he’d even entertained the idea of coming out with Nines like this in the first place.

Wanting to get his point across again, Gavin placed a hand beneath his chin as he closed his eyes and mentally counted to three before he spoke on. “Nines, I can’t change who I am. This is how God...err, nature made me, and I had no say in it, and I never will,” he explained as he placed his hands back in his lap. “I am just the way I am, and I don’t want you to have even the slightest bit of a hope that I’m going to change who I am if this continues between us…” he looked back over at random diners again.

“…this is why I think you’re better off just being with someone else! I’m just saying it for your own good!” he exclaimed as he smiled, though it was pained. “Think about it! If I didn’t care about you, I’d be so selfish and just let you continue with your dreams and hopes instead of just stopping this and encouraging you to just be my friend and find your own true source of love and happiness with someone else, do you understand?”

As utensils clanked and clattered on plates while the customers dined happily, Nines only smiled. He was so damn calm, and while it initially irritated Gavin, he found it was better that Nines wasn’t lashing out at all. He wasn’t sure how much more of it he could take, and if Nines got angry? Well, he was going to be miserable all week, more than likely.

Nines eventually licked his lips, getting ready to speak up. “Did it ever occur to you, Gavin, that I like you the way you are?” his question shook Gavin right to his core, and once again, the part of him that indulged in self-loathing associated every negative thing he hated about himself with Nines, and he figured that since he didn’t accept himself and love himself, there was just no way Nines could do it.

Gavin shrugged nonchalantly. “I think you’re just confused, Nines,” he bit out coldly, “I’m probably fascinating to your android mind, and you want to observe me and study me to see what needs to be fixed and perfected!” he let out a dry laugh as he leaned back and shook his head gently. “Isn’t that what you androids do, anyway? Determine what’s wrong with a person so that you guys can be better?”

Nines didn’t answer for a long time, but when he did, his tone was so soft, that Gavin hardly was able to hear it unless he was really focusing with all his might.

“Listen to me, Gavin,” Nines stated almost breathlessly as his eyes welled up with emotions Gavin hadn’t ever seen him display before. “I want you to understand that I do accept you as you are, Gavin, and I don’t think you need ‘fixing’, because to me, you’re not broken, and never were.”

Gavin’s mind kept screaming out: bullshit, this is bullshit, he’s merely lying and telling you what you want to hear so you’re lured into his trap! Don’t fall for it.

“I’m not going to fall for your games, Nines,” he spat out icily, “so you really should stop while you’re ahead.”

Nines reached into his wallet and produced a couple of hundred-dollar bills. He set them onto the table slowly, eyes still on Gavin. “I just wanted to help you accept yourself, Gavin,” Nines spoke soothingly, and it made Gavin relax instantly.

“I want you to know that what you’re doing is perfectly natural…”

Gavin interrupted, “So it’s natural to have some medical and physiological issue where you can’t become sexually aroused and stimulated?? Is that what you’re saying?”

Nines shook his head as he sorted the bills out and nicely stacked them on top of each other, ready for the waiter to come and collect. “No, Gavin,” he stated deeply in a rich, velvety tone that demanded attention. “What I’m saying is that you need to stop putting your defenses up. You think that people will immediately attack you and hurt you, and to prevent that from happening at all, you push everyone away and peg them as enemies or unworthy. You do this before they even have a chance to get to know you or be close to you, because it’s the only way you know you can 100% effectively and efficiently protect and bar yourself from being hurt…it’s a matter of ‘get them before they get me’…isn’t it?”

Gavin felt tears in his eyes. This damn android…he had hardly been out with him for an hour, and he already read right through him like a storybook. Life just wasn’t fair at all…

Nines placed his hands back down in his lap. “There’s nothing to be ashamed of about yourself, Gavin—”

“I’m not ashamed!” Gavin snapped. “I’m j-just…scared…”

Nines stared seriously at him. “What’re you scared of, Gavin?”

Shaking, Gavin looked down at the floor, resembling a little boy lost in a crowded shopping mall as he longed to be with his mother again. “I’m scared that you want more than I can give you, Nines,” he breathed out in broken half-sobs, “I’m scared of this…these things… I’ve never wanted before and don’t know how to go through them and process them! And I am sure that until I get to a point where it’s too far, too much of everything will pile up, and you will…” his voice broke. “I can’t lose you.”

And Gavin knew he didn’t want to. Nines had been the only person in so, _so long_ to want to understand. Just the fact that Nines had gone the extra step and had made the effort was enough to prove to Gavin that he somehow needed Nines in his life…he needed to be selfish, for once….

Nines looked unsure of whether or not he wanted to reach out a hand and touch Gavin to comfort him. He almost raised his hands up over the table a few times, but he finally decided against it, and placed them down on his lap. His LED light shined yellow, and he seemed suddenly as cautious and nervous as Gavin was. Still, he held a smile on his face, and he leaned forward as he spoke soothingly and calmly to Gavin.

“Gavin, you will never lose me,” he promised sweetly and with an earnest tone. “Believe me, I will be happy with whatever you’re able to give me, and I will be content with that more than I can express in words alone.”

Gavin frowned, deep in thought. This wasn’t a conversation he wanted to have in the middle of a busy, crowded restaurant, and he cursed his emotions for being so damn weak that they nearly led him into the mess he’d been about to walk into. What had he been thinking??

Shaking it all off like it’d never happened, he stood up as he shoved his hands in his pockets. He stared at the exits of the restaurant until Nines silently stood up as well.

“Gavin—”

“We should get going,” Gavin interrupted, already making his way for the doors. “We’ll be late for the performance.”

He missed how Nines held a sad smile on his face as he wordlessly nodded and just followed in Gavin’s footsteps until they were out the doors of the restaurant and back into the chaotic world outside.

 

(~~~~~)

 

Gavin watched appreciatively as the ballet dancers twirled and swirled about on the stage. They moved so effortlessly and gracefully, that he felt he’d been entranced and pulled into a dream. He sat forward a little, trying not to blink so he wouldn’t miss a single beat of it as the orchestra accompanied them perfectly.

Nines sat beside him, looking more at him than at the performance, but Gavin was so swept up in the music and the dancing, that he didn’t care much. Before Gavin knew it, the play and ballet was over, and the audience stood up and gave a standing ovation for the acting and music. It was worth it, and they deserved it. Gavin whistled as he clapped as enthusiastically as the rest of the audience, and in the same way Nines was also cheering them on.

When they had finished with the performance, Nines announced they would be walking around in the park behind the auditorium. Gavin had no idea there even was a park behind the auditorium, as this wasn’t a part of town he frequented. With Nines by his side however, he felt more than safe and comfortable to engage in a nightly walk.

He smiled at the night sky, the stars providing more than natural lighting for them, along with the lamp posts installed in the park, and the lovely white and yellow lightbulbs decorating trees and their branches as they swayed in the wind when it blew just right. Nines led Gavin down a gravelly path, and they stood before a large pond, finally. Nines decided this would be a good place to sit, and he placed himself down on the grass beside Gavin.

They sat side-by-side cross legged, simply staring at the sky, and then at the rest of the lights in the park before their eyes eventually made their way over to the glassy surface of the pond. A few black swans swam by-barely visible due to the dark night. Gavin smiled, wishing he had some bread to feed them with, and he instead plucked a blade of grass from the ground and played with it. He twirled it about a few times in his hands before he placed the blade between both hands, and blew between it at a special angle. It made a funny noise-much like that of a duck, and Nines laughed.

His laughter was too contagious, and Gavin found himself laughing along as well in no time.

“I’m glad you’re enjoying yourself,” Nines stated randomly after Gavin began making small shapes out of the grass blades he’d plucked. He was weaving them together, and he merely nodded as he looked intently at his fingers.

“Yeah, me too, Nines…” it didn’t sound so sincere, but Gavin truly meant it. He just hoped Nines wouldn’t be offended by it, but apparently, he wasn’t. He sat back as he stared at the swans silently for a long time before he turned his head to Gavin and smiled.

Tilting his head more so he could look at him, Nines whispered out, “What do you normally feel like whenever you are reflecting on yourself and your orientation, Gavin?”

Staring down at the crystal-clear waters, Gavin saw the ripples dying down as the swans moved away, and the breezes stilled long enough for him to be able to make out his own reflection in the water. He glared at himself as he shivered. “I don’t know what you really mean, Nines…”

Nines sighed as he leaned down on his back and braced his weight up on the back of his hands and elbows. “You’re unique, Gavin Reed,” he commented openly, “I just want to know everything about you right now at once…your lifestyle, your thoughts, your beliefs, everything interests me…”

Understanding finally what Nines had been driving at, Gavin plucked another blade of grass almost violently from the ground. “I don’t feel much…down there…I mean, I don’t have a libido, but when I was younger, I felt some stuff,” he explained as best as he could remember the odd times he felt certain things whenever he showered or explored his body as it had been going through puberty for the first time. “I experienced something like arousal once a long time ago when my body accidentally got stimulated, but it gradually wore off as the years went on.” He looked down at the thick, dark grass and smiled fondly. “Now, it doesn’t even take time and effort and there’s no way I can respond to anything. Whatever physical thing I once felt is long gone, and I’m a lot happier this way. It wouldn’t cause any emotion in me besides a slight annoyance if it were to happen, so I can consider it a pain in the neck gone.”

As he finished his thought, Nines grabbed a small rock, and he skipped it perfectly across the surface of the pond. Gavin watched it bound away and smiled. “You’re good at that!” he commented pleasantly, and Nines smiled as he ran a hand through his hair and pushed his stray loose bang to the side and away from his forehead.

“I know what you said seems rational, Gavin,” Nines stated patiently, but his voice seemed to hint at something else that was on his mind. “But what does it really _feel_ like not to ever desire or think about intimacy?”

Gavin scoffed, “Do androids normally think about these things?”

Nines had no answer. He merely looked away, and Gavin shrugged. “See?” he ran a blade of grass down over Nines’ forearm, causing the android to look over at him again.

Nines mumbled out, “It’s not the same for me…I do get aroused from time-to-time.”

Gavin pretended like he hadn’t heard him. He didn’t really want to even imagine Nines aroused for a moment, and it made him dizzy with pain and sickness as he entertained the idea even in his ears. Trying to be polite, he cleared his throat and ran the blades of grass on Nines’ arms once more.

“You know that weird state when you have something on your skin or on your body and it itches and tingles away at you, but you’re not really in the mood to brush it off?” he phrased his question as he watched Nines peer over at him. “It’s like feeling that you’re getting dirty or gross, and your body is screaming at you that you have to brush it off and do something about it… you want to remove it from your skin, but it’s not urgent and you don’t really know what you’re looking for and nothing in your fantasies and imagination conjures up a reason for why you need to hop into the shower and wash it all off?” Nines tilted his head curiously at him, then.

“See, that’s what it felt like, and that’s how it so happened every once in a while as I grew up, and for the longest part of my life, I didn’t even know what I was feeling, and it was easily ignored most of the times. I can’t even remember when I finally realized what to do to make that feeling go away. Since then, I’ve never had the urge to masturbate, as I am just more than happy living without that tingling, itching sensation just there prickling under my skin…”

He hoped that would suffice as an answer for Nines, as he really didn’t want to get into the technical details of it all.

Nines looked straight ahead as he took his turn to speak. “I never thought I would end up obeying the urges of my body either. I enjoy having a strong amount of self-control, as I know I don’t have to rely on these forms of behavior just to experience whatever life and the relationships with others has to offer me,” he stated as he sighed out slowly. “However, I was created with certain…” he paused and cleared his throat, “…features, if you will…I would also prefer not appealing to my baser instincts, but I won’t sit here and lie to you and tell you I don’t do it, because I do.” Staring openly at Gavin, his LED light flashed from blue to yellow, suddenly. “I also won’t lie to you and claim I don’t enjoy it, because I don’t want to start this all on a lie, Gavin…”

Gavin visibly tensed, but he stayed silent as he lightly ran the grass blades continuously up and down Nines’ arms. He wasn’t sure why he was doing it; he just knew he liked doing it, so he didn’t stop.

“It’s nothing sexual for me,” Nines stated gently, “more like scratching an irritating itch, or getting rid of tension to fall asleep more easily.”

“Do you think about anyone while you do it?” Gavin asked carefully, trying not to let his tone betray him. He didn’t want Nines answering him how he thought he wanted to be answered. Nines had to answer with no bias, no judgement.

Peeking at the RK900 from the corners of his eyes, Gavin saw Nines nodding slowly, his eyes pooling and filling up with regret, as if fearful of whether Gavin was going to judge him or push him away. His shoulders tensed up, and even his legs went a little rigid, but he kept staring at the dark water.

Although curious as to who occupied Nines’ fantasies, Gavin decided not to open that door at all. He feared that once he did, it would never close. He let out the breath he hadn’t known he was holding, and he followed the impulse to reach for Nines’ hand again to squeeze it carefully.

He dropped the grass blades he’d been holding, and in their place was Nines’ hand, now. It didn’t feel so bad in his own, and Gavin stared down at it until he felt he rather enjoyed seeing their hands looped together.

A deep chuckle came from Nines, suddenly. “You’re a lot bolder now, wouldn’t you say?”

He snorted.

“I tried hiding myself for the longest time, but at some point, I just had enough of concealing my identity just to please the narrative others held for me,” he stated truthfully as he looked at how large Nines’ hand was in his own. “As I said before; this is how I was created, and it’s just something that can’t be ignored. This society is sometimes so sex-obsessed with what we put out in the media and how we treat our employees, and I am just…” he shook, pausing as he laughed, but it was more so to comfort himself, “…I’m so confused by everything. Why is it necessary to conduct interviews for a job while always being so judgmental and biased that you know you’re only going to select the people you secretly want to sleep with? Why is it that every other commercial promoting beer or alcohol has to show a girl in a bikini dancing around confidently as she entices men and they’re openly ogling her? Why does every porn movie start with the premise of a pizza delivery man?” he missed how Nines’ eyes flooded with an emotion so close to love as he listened to every word he said and ate it right up.

“Why is it that no one else stops to ask these questions?” Gavin let out a strained laugh. “Of course I started thinking about these things at some point. I was wondering if I am the only person in the whole world who thought this was weird…maybe I have it all backwards…”

As his words died down in the wind, Gavin realized he’d become so loud and forceful during his rant that he’d grabbed Nines’ hand so tightly. While it hurt him more than the android, he loosened his hold as he looked away shyly, refusing to meet Nines’ eyes.

“Sorry,” he muttered, hiding his face against his own shoulder as he rocked gently back and forth on the ground.

There was a careful touch on his shoulder, and he looked back up.

Nines looked remorseful, and Gavin was taken aback. “Don’t be sorry,” he said this almost sternly, as if wanting Gavin to never repeat those words, “I know what you mean,” his voice was like a soothing balm for the soul, and Gavin sighed as he relaxed his muscles and leaned in close.  

Nines gave him a weary smile. “I can’t imagine how it must be for you, and how difficult it must’ve been to feel so out of place and left out of things your peers likely found easy to do without another thought given to it…”

Gavin sighed in relief when he heard the sincerity in Nines’ tone. “It’s just another thing on the list of what sets me apart from everyone else around me and makes me a disappointment, I guess. It’s okay.”

Almost angrily, Nines shook his head, and his LED light blinked red quickly. “It’s not okay, Gavin, don’t you dare make excuses for them!” he hissed, though he wasn’t mad at Gavin, which was rather adorable in the other man’s view.

“If you can’t feel comfortable with anyone else,” he stated softly, “I want you to feel comfortable with me at all times. You can talk to me freely, in whatever capacity you want and need, and I will never push you away or demand more from you. I am entirely content with whatever you can give me, as I said before, and I meant my words, Gavin….” He looked pleadingly at Gavin, then, as if in pain or about to grieve the loss of a friend. “I just want you to know that I just need your presence in my life, and you can spend the rest of your life not even touching me, and I’ll still be happy for the rest of my life.”

He looked so intense and earnest that Gavin had to swallow and look away. He knew that everything Nines had said was true. He could read through it as he played back how the emotions and tones of his voice had fluctuated, and it nearly choked him.

Gavin drew his knees up into his chest. “I don’t… I don’t want to lead you on and hurt you, Nines,” he admitted honestly as he trembled. “I don’t have any experience in this, and I swear, I don’t know when a touch can become a signal for wanting and desiring more!” his voice was cracking and shaking, but he couldn’t stop himself. “I don’t realize when the way I touch can be read as more than a gesture of comfort, and only turns into something sexual, and I just don’t want to go down that road of pain and misery for either of us!”

“Shh, Gavin,” Nines leaned forward, closing some of the distance between them. Gavin allowed it, partly shocked he hadn’t bolted, and he looked back up, meeting the searing gaze of the RK900 for a moment. The world had stopped spinning, and as Gavin closed his eyes, he felt warm lips descend and close down on the center of his forehead.

When he opened his eyes, Nines had retreated on the grass, and he smiled shyly as his LED light shined brightly in the night.

“I assure you Gavin, I have been listening to every word you said,” he uttered warmly. “After everything you’ve told me now, I promise you, if I ever mistake your actions as sexual advances towards me, you are allowed to show me otherwise, and do whatever you can to set it correct. I won’t become angry with you, and I will always listen and give you my utmost and undivided attention…I swear…”

Gavin wove their hands together, and he smiled as he leaned down into the grass. His heart rate had returned to normal, and he closed his eyes as he got lost in the sounds of the night and of nature. He let the warm wind lull him into almost sleep, but before he lost all consciousness, he whispered back to Nines.

“Just be with me, accept me, and trust me, and it’ll be enough for me.”

He wasn’t able to see the look of love and endearment Nines gave him; he was too tired. Emotionally, Gavin was elated, but it was such a high plane of emotion, that he was unable to cope with it. He pressed his head back onto the cool grass, and he closed his eyes as he smiled away at the stars and moon above.

Gavin Reed knew one thing that night, and that was that he fell asleep with a smile plastered onto his face.

It was more than likely that it wouldn’t go away for a long, long time, either.


End file.
